By Danuska Da Gama I NT BUZZ
It’s a bygone era when the bride’s only worry was about taking vows in front of a congregation. Times have indeed changed, and our Goan Catholic bride prefers not just being the pretty, dainty beauty walking down the aisle or swaying to their wedding special led by her husband for the first time, on the wedding day.There is so much more to just being the centre of attraction for the bride. From the moment a girl makes up her mind to say ‘I do’ , it’s only opportunities and responsibilities which she willingly and happily takes up, not just to prove her mettle, but to ensure that her dream wedding becomes a reality.
The bride today is the event manager of her wedding who personally takes care of everything: from theme and décor, to liturgy and reception planning. Besides, today’s bride is worried less about budgets and more about making her day as unique and memorable for the couple and the guests. There is a shift where parents become mere advisors and guides, and the actual running around is done by the bride and of course the groom.
The Hands- On Bride
For any bride, planning her wedding is one of the most important jobs of her life. Every bride wants the finer details to perfection and maybe that’s why they turn into bridezillas.
Diana Braganza recalls how she was termed one for she also got down to selecting the playlist for the wedding to the colour of the pen for signing. “When I started planning our wedding I wanted to make break away from the usual. Of course my inspiration came from movies and months of research online. Being an organised person I made folders and saved inspiration in different categories for months”, she says.
Diana says many of the elements for her wedding were hand crafted right from table pieces, favours, cocktail stirrers to wishing wands. She says, “Honestly the journey to the wedding was much more fun where so many people came together to make the day a unique experience.”
Goan Catholic weddings generally have a set format which includes the wedding entrance, cutting the cake, raising the toast and all that follows. Today’s brides believe that it’s time to set new trends instead of simply following what has been done and overdone.
Aloma D’Costa knew exactly what she wanted for a perfect wedding. The couple took up dance classes to have a well coordinated first dance. The bride also made props that were used for her wedding photography. Sharon Fernandes wants her wedding to have a personal touch and hence to come to actually getting the flowers, favours, card design, and table pieces done by her, involving family and friends. “Of course it’s an inexpensive option, but I want it to be my way, for all these finally make wonderful memories and beautiful pictures and visuals.”
Traditions take a back seat
There is a common belief that it is time to make weddings fun and interactive. Many either try their best to keep the rituals, traditions and rules of conduct and procedures simple or just totally chuck it. It’s the most awaited day of one life time and for sure many nowadays prefer not being bogged down by them. Diana says, “Coming from a traditional family, I was lucky enough to get my parents to agree to a beach wedding. I decided to knock out traditions like the ‘roce’ ceremony and wearing of the ‘chudo’.”
Sharon Fernandes a bride to be soon had initially decides on not wearing gold jewellery at all usually seen on Goan brides. However, after consideration she has managed to get what she wants and has now opted for a simple diamond necklace and earrings, which will be worn sans any bangles or chudo.
She hasn’t dumped all traditions and will begin her wedding festivities with the traditional ‘roce’ for she thinks it’s more about enjoying oneself and also making parents and families pleased to some extent if not wholly. Anthony D’Costa made sure his children followed all traditions. He says, “Youngsters today do not understand the reason behind following traditions, but the moment something bad happens then they realise the importance of it and the logic behind it.”
The Guiding Parents
Back in the day parents would be involved in panning A to Z of their children’s wedding. Things have shifted now to merely keeping parents in the loop and taking suggestions. Their role might not be that significant, but they still remain to offer guidance about traditions that need to be followed. They are also a strong support system as one takes the biggest step in life.
Though Aisha Pereira has already chalked out preparations for their November wedding with husband-to-be she also feels it’s necessary that parents are involved because it is only through experience that one can make the best plan.
Agreeing with Aisha, Diana says that the most important thing is to first discuss plans for the wedding with parents and then come to an understanding, so both are happy. “We need to understand that parents also have dreams for us”, she says.
Anthony D’Costa and his wife Mousinha were on pins as both, their daughter and son planned to get married one after the other. “Though our hands were not full with work, we were continuously tensed as our children and their spouses took on the responsibility entire.” However, he says as parents they are bound to get hyper worrying about details for a minor error could lead to a major embarrassment mainly for the parents. Sean Faia, Diana’s husband, says that it is the parents who now help the hysterical couple keep cool and calm during the stressful times before the wedding. He says, “I feel now a days parents are happy giving full control to the couple to plan the wedding. All they want are certain traditions to be followed but by and large they are happy to see the outcome their children have put in.”
Alongside the Bride…the Ever Enthusiastic Husband
While of course planning and execution is spearheaded by the bride, the groom is always in the loop, for he too has to shell out equal or more money for the wedding. Girls are always known to be perfectionists, taking care of every minute detail putting on the creative garb.
Contd. on page 6