You know, every person out there tends to think that they are great bartenders and they know how to make really potent drinks. They just follow some rules like mixing together different types of spirits, using potent alcohol and imagine that they have what it takes to deliver that knockout punch. That is not so!
Blending alcohols together to create that sublimely beautiful drink that makes your customer ask for a repeat is a complex process which takes years of practice and utmost dedication.
There are those who have done that and we thank them silently even now each time we order and sip on their creations. Then there are also those who have imbibed in one too many of their own concoctions and have now travelled to the dark side with products that are awesome whilst simultaneously being cringe worthy and absolutely dangerous if consumed irresponsibly.
I think that no list such as this can ever begin without a mention of Absinthe which is the poster bad boy of crazy drinks. Filled to the brim with hallucinogenic wormwood, it was banned in the 19th century because it was linked to epilepsy, tuberculosis and madness. Of course better sense has prevailed since it was last banned and now there are bottles of absinthe available everywhere.
Then there is the cocktail aptly named Corpse Reviver #2 which is a blend of several alcohols along with absinthe. Two of them drunk in quick succession apparently can revive a dead person and if four of them are consumed in a similar fashion, they can turn the living into a corpse as soon as the last drop slides down the gullet.
Then there is the Vaportini which really required a person-in-serious-need-of-psychiatric-help to come up with this one. The alcohol is heated and the resultant vapour is inhaled through a straw. Why drink when you can snort?
Speaking of snorting, there actually exists a cocktail called Liquid Cocaine. With a name like that, you know that your bartender is not really messing about. It contains Bacardi 151, Goldschlager and Jagermeister which is a combination so potent that only saying those three names together really fast may make you drunk.
What do you get when you cross an Energy drink with alcohol? The answer is Four Loko which is available ready-to-drink in bright coloured cans. The alcohol content is not great – just between 8 per cent and 12 per cent but each drink has the equivalent of five cups of coffee. This means you can keep drinking without feeling the effects right up to the moment that your heart pounds so loudly that you need to be wheeled into the cardiac emergency room.
The New Orleans Hand Grenade comes across as a rather run-of-the-mill cocktail until you realise that one of the ingredients giving the normal plethora of alcohols some company in your glass is pure ethanol. Ethanol is seriously nothing to scoff at since it is one of the ingredients in rocket fuel!
Purple Drank is a weird sounding name but don’t be too fooled because it has claimed several young lives already. This bottled drink comes with alcohol generously mixed with codeine and promethazine which are (now banned) ingredients for cough syrups. The drink is potent, the hallucinations legendary and you can be assured that if you survive, you aren’t getting a sore throat anytime soon.
Thaili is Indian bootleg liquor prevalent in the northern part of the country that is referred to as ‘moonshine’ in other parts of the world. It gets its name from the Hindi word for plastic bag because it is sold in plastic pouches. They come in two varieties – sada meaning plain and rangeen which is means coloured. This refers to the colour of the plastic pouch they are sold in with the coloured one being the more premium.
The ingredients are not really a secret but the end results are always going to keep you on an edge. It is akin to playing Russian roulette with four loaded chambers in your revolver.
To give this drink its unique kick, manufacturers are known to toss batteries, household cleaning chemicals and used shoes into the pot. It is no wonder that you cannot feel your tongue and lower jaw after the first sip.
Besides having subtler side effects like turning you permanently blind or destroying your liver almost immediately, it has killed more people than those who have died of boredom reading my articles!