Monday , 17 December 2018
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The internet and teenage secrets

Dr Kedar Padte

“Why are you sulking?” I asked my friend Dr Tension and added “you look like a bereaved mackerel.”

He said: “My subconscious mind is in turmoil as I have no solution to the problem presented to me by the parents of teenage boys and girls.”

As a psychiatrist, Dr Tension tends to psychosocial problems of young adults.

These children are brilliant. They perform well in the class and are socially well behaved. Yet their parents bring them over as they indulge in sexual activity he said.

“I thought we discussed the problems of teenage sex Dr Tension. What is new? It is here to stay, isn’t it?” I asked.

That would have been easy to handle; however, these children do not meet. These children indulge in sexual activity through laptops. Each one in their own home is connected over video conference.

It all began when a group of students started studying together on a video chat. All was well till one of the boys was running late to the video conference and decided to start the homework without his clothes on.

This group of five students are academically brilliant; the three girls and two boys are also close friends.

When their ranks started crashing one of the parents decided to employ the ‘open eye’ detective agency to spy on them.

There was no untoward gesture in public at all. They attended all their classes too and had no addictions, hence the dilemma.

On investigation it found that a large amount of their time was spent on group sexual activity through video conference. “Seckneverika’s parents decided to bring her here for counselling,” said Dr Tension “I did not know where to begin. That is why I let her do the talking.”

Seckneverika said there are various advantages of cyber sex. “For me, we don’t have to commit ourselves to another. To participate or not is at the flick of the ‘log out’ option. Since there is no physical contact the chances of sexually transmitted disease are nil. If arousal takes time, we can always switch on some porn. As it is at leisure, in our rooms at home, there is no hurry and no fear of someone watching or getting caught,” she said with a wink.

Dr Tension begged to differ and said that it seemed to be affecting her studies and her parents are pulling out their hair.

“It is a bit time consuming but when our coordination improves, so will our marks.

At present, we are facing difficulties such as adjusting to the partner’s timetable, internet speed, frequent interruptions due to power failures or modem malfunctioning, the dongle suddenly goes low or video blurs. At times there are calls from relatives or acquaintances that interrupt the activity. To say the least, it may be mom calling for dinner,” she said.

I could understand Dr Tension’s dilemma and obviously there were no drugs to be prescribed. Seckneverika seemed to have a valid explanation. The parents were left in the orbit of a comet with destinations unknown.

“We have brought Seck to you for counselling. We expect a valid and sustainable cure for this internet sex,” said Secksneverika’s mom.

When confronted with problems such as bipolar problems of the mind, schizophrenia, drug or alcohol addiction, etc, there are set programmes in the mind and medication that helps over a period of time. However, these patients or so called patients are in complete control of themselves, understands the consequences and are balanced in thoughts said Dr Tension adding “These indulgences have no answer in my clinic.”

Dr Tension was further disturbed as there were no clinics, books or references that could help resolve this problem.

There are group counselling sessions and psychoanalysis which help in Western countries. There are questionnaires that children boldly fill and their problems are addressed.

Our society has a social stigma and even talking about cyber sex openly would be a problem. The government in association with NGOs and medical college departments with counsellors need to start a programme on the lines of Alcoholics Anonymous, maintaining the secrecy and privacy of so called patients.

The parent has to become a friend and counsellor, an open minded partner to find an amicable solution.

“If I top the class again, would you still want to counsel me,” asked Secksneverika.

The problem stems from uncertainty in relationships, commitment, deceit, lies, pregnancies or even marriage that many of my friends want to stay away from.

The complexity of long term relationship has been replaced with these short time flings.

“What is your answer to this?” I asked Dr Tension.

In the field of psychiatry this is a new kid on the block, a new problem on the horizon. We have moved from landlines to cell phones, from black boards to power point from robots to advanced artificial intelligence and from natural sex to cyber sex.

“Let me do some more research lest Secksneverika never experiences natural sexual activity,’ he said gravely.

 

(Columnist is a well-known gynaecologist practising in Panaji. Send in your queries to padte.kedar@gmail.com)

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