By Amita Quenim

 Rahul and Tina were playing around at home. Each one with their own set of things. Their mom and I were chatting, enjoying our cup of coffee. Rahul was 5 and Tina was 6-years-old. Soon they left their things and came seeking attention.

They came up to their mother and started asking her the most annoying questions. Don’t get me wrong, I said annoying because at that particular moment they were just seeking attention while their mom was happy enjoying her evening talking to me. So these questions were only focused around that truth. I sat listing to the conversation with a smile and left it to them to deal with it, however, I supported the children’s conversation though I knew it was leading no where.

‘Think just think’, was their mother’s reaction to her children. She was really upset with the kids. Tina being the older one moved away and tried to get back to her activities and would just return for a reassurance on her work. But Rahul was not convinced, and when his mother told him, ‘think just think’, he turned around to his sister and said, ‘how do I think, please help me to think’. His sister who was also angry by then and reacted by saying, ‘think from your brains and don’t ask me silly questions’. I was really moved with that, there was no way I could carry on my conversation with their mom and I suggested that we all go out together. I made sure that the outing was a pleasurable experience for the four of us. However, when I left their home, I had to work on Rahul’s question, ‘How do I think, please help me’.

I took this question up for its face value. Did Rahul mean that, was he really disturbed with that question; was that a task he wanted to learn? For me it was very important to find the answers, for the many children who often hear this statement, ‘think just think’.

Let us do some thinking, ‘….Get me some water.’ ‘……Get me some warm water.’ ‘……Get me some warm water to drink.’ Did you realise the difference in your thinking? Your thinking is influenced with what you understand; it is based on a broad idea which has to narrow down to the detailed idea for one to react correctly. Clear and focused words help action to follow without any mistakes.

Thinking is a skill, developed over a period of time. It comes into practice when you are faced with options and when only one option has to be selected. So right thinking is based on the subject, the situation and the consequences. It is the activity of the brain but you have to feel motivated to think.

How much is thinking promoted is any ones guess. The concept of examinations from an early age obstructs the creative flow of thinking. From an early age a child is asked to stop thinking and learn the answer to get full marks, this process becomes a habit and an escape towards thinking.

Thinking is a kind of responsibility which you have to own. Your words, your thoughts matter to you and to others. As I have mentioned in the above three statements, if you read them again, you will realise that all three statements can mean something very different but it was only the third statement that was meant to mean what the speaker said. Faulty thinking habits are a great cause for emotional stress.

Let us understand a few thing’s about how to promote good thinking. Investment of time is important, it must be constructive, it must be focused and reach a conclusion, thinking has to be enjoyable and not complex. It has to be thought provoking, and you have to master the art of when to stop and how to balance a conversation so that it does not become a drag and an unwanted lecture always.

A simple example is that of a child when he is asked to write an essay at the age of 6, on ‘My Family’, this it self could be where the first art of thought process can be introduced by putting across some key words like, ‘at the dinner table, shopping, pets, etc. This will help the child to think of his dad and talk about him in that mood when the child went out shopping with his dad and that will surely help him to be emotionally involved writing about his father rather than just writing my fathers name is …, he works …., etc. In simple words, a few key words and thoughts promote thinking in a progressive and constructive manner. This concept remains the same even at a later age when we talk of an agenda for a meeting, and reflecting back on just the last meeting you attended would clearly explain to you how enjoyable it was interacting or was it a drag and waste of time.

A normal tendency with most individuals is, even if the answer seems right, they still continue thinking about it. However, all that needs to be done is to detach thinking from the ego and you will realise that, “You can not be more right, than right.”