I’m a 25-year-old working guy and I have a girlfriend who is 24-year-old. We have been dating for the last one year. She is very nice and we get along really well. I love her a lot and we are serious about our relationship.

The only problem is she keeps hitting me. I don’t think she intends to hurt me, but it gets very annoying. She always says she’s just joking when she does it. Sometimes it becomes very embarrassing in front of friends but I don’t know how to tell her this. She is very nice. I only wish she would stop with her ‘friendly whacking’ which she does so often. How do I make her realise this without hurting her? I don’t want to fight with her.
Dear Concerned
Have you tried telling her you don’t like being hit all the time? I don’t mean indirectly, by giving hints or clues, but saying this to her directly. However, do this politely. Tell her you know she doesn’t mean to hurt you, but the fact is that her behaviour is annoying you. This way you don’t end up blaming her and so she should not feel hurt. It is better to speak directly to the person rather than use indirect communication. Otherwise the other may not get the correct message. Since this seems to be a habit you will have to be patient. Make her aware of her behaviour whenever it happens. This should help reduce the frequency of its occurrence. 
I’m a 23-year-old girl. I have been going out with a guy for the last two years. He is two years older than me. We met when I was in college. He is very good to me but I am not interested in him anymore. We are incompatible on a number of issues. This is something I realised recently. I want to break-up with him but I don’t know how to do this without hurting him. He has always been good to me and so I feel bad about hurting him. Could you tell me some ways which make it easy to break-up and not hurt someone? 
Dear Sensitive
You seem to be very mature. Have you tried working out the incompatible issues with him? If you have, and still feel that things are not working for you, only then go ahead with your plan of breaking up. The bad news is break-ups always hurt both the persons, but more so the one who has been dumped. You will have to tell him why you are breaking up. Giving a good, solid reason always makes the hurt less than never being informed about anything. If you are determined to go ahead then try and minimise contact with him once you have broken up. This will let him know there is no going back and will help him move on faster. The other concern is regarding you. Since you seem to be sensitive to his needs (which is a rare quality) you could develop guilt feelings easily. You will need to recognise them and deal with these feelings. Only then will you also be able to move on from this relationship.
(To get your personal queries answered by clinical psychologist Marilia P. Fernandes send them to counsellor.nt@gmail.com)